Communication is the process of exchanging messages between two parties with the aim of conveying information, building relationships, influencing behavior, and creating shared understanding.
According to Joo et al (2017), communication is a fundamental human activity that enables individuals to manage social relationships and build connections with others.
In the context of everyday life, interpersonal communication is the closest and most frequently used form of interaction, as it involves the direct delivery of messages between individuals.
Communication is not only understood as the technical process of sending messages, but also as a social process laden with values, norms, and ethics. The way a person communicates reflects their character, cultural background, and mindset.
Good communication plays a central role in maintaining harmony in human interactions. Phillips (2023) explains that effective communication is characterized by clarity of message, the ability to listen, and the use of appropriate and polite language.
In social interactions, good communication helps someone express an opinion without offending, reject without hurting, and receive information with respect. Good communication also forms the basis for building trust, strengthening interpersonal relationships, and avoiding conflict.
The ability to communicate politely is an essential part of social etiquette, regardless of the context, whether within a family, friendship, organization, or the wider community.
This is also reflected in Malay culture, which is widely known as a culture that upholds the value of politeness. Tenas Effendy (2011) in Sebakti (2018) emphasized that Malay society adheres to the traditional principle of “adat bersendikan syarak, syarak bersendikan Kitabullah, one of the manifestations of which is seen in polite speech and nobility of character.
Politeness in Malay culture is not only related to physical attitudes, but is also deeply embedded in language. Politeness in Malay is reflected in the use of the expressions “sorry”, “please” and “thank you” as a form of respect and care for the feelings of the person you are talking to.
The principle of “menjaga air muka” is an essential part of Malay etiquette, where one is expected to speak politely, not rudely, and prioritize coolness in speech.
Therefore, Malay-cultured communities, including those in Riau, are strongly associated with gentle and respectful social interactions. This was also demonstrated in an interview with seven UMRI students. The purpose of the interview was to assess how the students expressed their opinions, whether they agreed or disagreed.
Asking opinion
Several respondents expressed different opinions about agreeing with others. Some immediately said, “I agree with your opinion…”. In addition, one respondent also expressed appreciation for the statement of agreement. This shows an expression of appreciation.
However, when disagreeing, almost all respondents began with polite statements such as: “Sorry, I don’t agree…”. This is in accordance with the concept of negative politeness in the politeness theory of Brown & Levinson (1987) as cited in Husni et al. (2025), namely a strategy to minimize threats to the face of the interlocutor.
Invitation
Students always express gratitude when receiving an invitation. When agreeing and planning to attend, they tend to say, “Thank you for the invitation…”. Others use, “InsyaAllah...”, to indicate that they will attend, but it depends on the circumstances.
This refers to urgent circumstances such as health problems or other calamities. Conversely, when declining, they maintain polite language such as, “Sorry, I can’t come because I have other things to do,” or, “Unfortunately, I already have other plans…” and, “If wish I could come, could I reschedule?” According to Holmes (2017), this pattern reflects an effort to maintain social harmony.
Making Request
Social beings truly need the help of others. Making a request requires proper sentence structure to encourage the listener to comply.
In this case, almost all respondents expressed the same sentence structure: “Is it okay to ask for help?” This demonstrates politeness. However, another respondent added that this also depends on how close we are to the person we’re asking for help. If it’s a close friend, direct language is acceptable.
Offering
UMRI students demonstrated that when offering something, they use polite and non-pushy language. One student stated “If I want to help a friend, I usually say, ‘If you need help, just let me know.’ So it doesn’t seem pushy.”
Another student gave an example of when a friend declined his offer of help: “Once I offered to help with an assignment, but he said, “Sorry, maybe I’ll try it myself first.” But they still said, ‘Oh yeah, that’s okay, keep up the good work.”
There was also a positive response when the offer was accepted: “My friend said, ‘Yes, you can, thank you for helping.’ So communication remained good.
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These findings demonstrate that polite language, expressions of apology, and gratitude are consistently present in the process of offering, accepting, and refusing assistance. Communication is an important process in human life. Good communication helps maintain relationships, avoid conflict, and build healthy understanding between individuals.
In the context of Malay society, the value of politeness plays a major role in shaping how a person speaks and behaves. The results of interviews with seven first-semester Informatics Engineering students at UMRI indicate that politeness remains a key practice in their interpersonal communication.
Students consistently use the words “sorry” in refusal and “thank you” in acceptance. This communication pattern not only reflects social ethics but also shows how Malay culture continues to influence the way students interact in a modern academic environment.
Politeness has proven to be an important element that harmonizes communication between students and serves as a foundation for building healthy interpersonal relationships.
Writer:
1. Annisa Salamah
2. Tasya Herdiyanti
3. Nurtila Wulandari
Student College of English Education UNRI
Supervisor: Dahnil Syah & Jismulatif
Editor: Ika Ayuni Lestari
Language: Rahmat Al Kafi
References
Holmes, J. (2017). Intercultural communication in the workplace. The Routledge handbook of language in the workplace, 335-347.
Husni, S., Ramdhani, M. W., Idayanti, R., Lana, I. R., & Setiawan, I. (2025). Strategi Kesantunan dalam Kolom Komentar Video LOGIN Episode 30: Analisis Pragmatik Berdasarkan Teori Brown dan Levinson. Journal of Linguistics and Language Teaching, 1(2), 51-63.
Joo, T. M., & Teng, C. E. (2017). Impact of Social Media (Facebook) on Human Communication and Relationships: A View on Behavioral Change and Social Unity. International Journal of Knowledge Content Development & Technology, 7(4).
Phillips, J. (2023). Clarity, conciseness, and consistency are the keys to effective communication. Principles of Organizational Behavior: The Handbook of Evidence‐Based Management 3rd Edition, 429-442.
Sabakti, S. (2018). Konsep Pendidikan Karakter dalam Buku Pandangan Orang Melayu Terhadap Anak Karya Tenas Effendy (Concept Of Character Building In The Book Pandangan Orang Melayu terhadap Anak By Tenas Effendy). Widyaparwa, 46(2), 189-204.
